“Don’t you have any… I don’t know, patients to deal with?” an exasperated sigh rang out. “I didn’t come here to help you be boring,” the owner to the sigh said, giggling a bit.

The tall, dark-haired surgeon at the head of the room sighed along side her. “I didn’t become a doctor because it would be interesting every day,” she replied, holding her tongue back from a bit more verbal response.

The original speaker nodded. “I know, but when you wanted the Calvary to help…” she said with a gesture around the long conference room and its oak wood table. Six other girls, including the surgeon herself, were seated around the room with almost uniform solemn expressions. Each was dressed normally in street clothes, save for the surgeon, who had on a flowing white lab coat and a suit for her day at work. It was a miracle her friends—Hail, Sunneth, Thorn, Fallenpebble, Shninja, and Bladeh—were allowed in the hospital at all, considering how high-strung the director of the hospital was. Surgeon, Dr. Starri, had called her friends in because of how lonely it could get working without any surgeries to perform, even surrounded by patients.

Starri turned to the speaker, Hail, and said, “Anyway, you can come up with some way to entertain yourself, can’t you? I mean, geez, there’s a bowl of marshmallows right in the middle of the table and some plastic operating toys…” It wasn’t that her friends were annoying, it was just that they were all, well… bored, and Starri was supposed to be filing papers, not that those were high up on her list right now. Nobody, of course, would help her file papers (not that she asked, but what was the point of asking?), so in a crowded conference room with a random bowl of marshmallows and plastic toys in the middle of the table there was, astonishingly, nothing to do, and all was quiet.

That is, all was quiet until someone ‘lolol’d’.

It was quiet at first. A small, little giggling sound that couldn’t be distinguished by voice. And then, with every giggle, it got louder, and louder, until, finally, one could tell that Hail was the one with the uncontrollable lolol’ing. She clutched her stomach, and managed to force out “I—LOLOL—TOO—EASILY—!” between her lolols.

“Yes, my 8, that was apparent, but… are you okay? And… what’s a lolol?” Starri’s bewildered look matched everyone else’s in the room—Sunneth was moving over to Hail’s side, her eyes alight with curiosity, and Thorn stood back near Starri, who still hadn’t moved from her spot at the front of the room.

Bladeh took the moment to speak up and said, “I think it’s like a giggle.”

Through her gasps, Hail did the best she could to nod in Bladeh’s direction. “IT’S LIKE—A GIGGLE—BUT WORSE! AND—MORE—LIKELY—TO—START—A—SHIPPING!” she spat out, a laugh on her tongue. Through the whole ordeal, it was still apparent that, even for the tiniest bit, everyone else inside the room was smiling themselves.

Shninja moved over towards the table and grabbed a marshmallow from the bowl.

“But but but!” Sunneth muttered with a frankly ‘D8’ expression, “how do you cure it?”

“I—THINK MARSHMALLOWS—TO THE HEAD—WORKS! LOLOL!” Hail managed to say through her frequent mutterings of ‘lolol’.

Just at that moment, a white, fluffy confection slipped from Shninja’s hand with a cry of something like “HA!” and landed on Hail’s head, standing right where it stuck. Everyone else save for Thorn and Starri around the room ran towards the tabletop and grabbed a marshmallow from the bowl, and subsequently pelted the Hail that was doubled over in uncontrollable laughter, even managing to make a smile themselves.

“Uh oh,” Thorn muttered under her breath.

“…what?” Starri asked, her eyes half-transfixed on the marshmallow melee that was currently taking place in the innocent conference room. Truth be told, it was a miracle that the stingy higher-ups hadn’t come down to investigate the source of the rampant noises around the building.

“I’ve heard about this disease,” Thorn answered, staring at Starri. “Well, no I haven’t, I’m making it up now, but whatever,” she added quickly, waving her hand. “It’s called lololitus, and it affects those prone to bouts of uncontrollable laughter.”
“…you’re saying those zombie fights weren’t the best thing, right?”

“Zombie fights?” Thorn answered with a strange look. “Well, whatever the case, all that’s needed, as long as the patient doesn’t go into the second stage, is a little bit of rest and—“

Thorn was cut off by another squeak along with Hail’s still constant lolols and marshmallows being thrown everywhere (apparently there was an infinite stack of them in the bowl), one coming from right next to Shninja.

“Flanz!”

There was no stopping them now. “Did I mention that they were, uh, kinda… you know, contagious and spread through air?”

Fallenpebble was the newest victim of the almighty lololitus. “Everyone!” Shninja yelled, “attac—I mean save Hail with one marshmallow, and Fallen with the other!” Apparently no one noticed, or possibly cared, that any normal bowl would have run out of marshmallows long ago, but it might have just been the fun of pelting the ever-giggling Hail and Fallenpebble with marshmallows.

It was almost like a frantic slumber party, except the marshmallows were the pillows, and the lololing was apparently a disease. The giggling surely could have been heard at least all over the floor, and yet no one had come to investigate—unless they were all out playing golf or something.

Bladeh started to hurl another load of marshmallows at Hail and Fallenpebble, but on the backswing it flew out of her hand and onto Sunneth’s head.

With a little squeak of a voice, Sunneth uttered “Lolol!”

“…uh, sorry!” Bladeh quickly said, her clear eyes growing wide.

The whole room (excepting of course for Hail, Fallenpebble, and Sunneth) became quiet. Lololitus was spreading far too quickly. “My Suhnith! My 8, my Fallenz!” With a frantic expression, and now half-believing the strange lololing disease, Starri turned to Thorn and cried, “Is it fatal?” breathlessly.

“Uh,” Thorn answered, “I don’t know, really…”

“Dang it.”

“Hayul—lolol—are you—lolol—okay over there—lolol? What about—lolol—you, Fuhpuh?”

Fallenpebble looked up from the floor, which she had been screaming her obsessive lolols to earlier. “Lolol what? I think I’m fine, lolol. A little, lolol, giddy maybe, but… lolol.”

“No!” Bladeh screamed, looking at Thorn. “I think she’s entered the second stage, where lolols are seamlessly integrated into a sentence! The marshmallows aren’t WORKING!”

“Starri,” Thorn turned to look at the surgeon, “check on Haileon, she’s been lololing longer. I’ll look at Sunnethchu, and check for signs. If we can squash it early, she might have a chance! Bladeh, look after her, ‘kay? Shninja, keep throwing marshmallows at everyone.”

“Alright!” the three girls addressed answered in unison. Bladeh went to examining Fallenpebble, while Starri moved over to Hail.

“8,” she said, “you okay? Don’t worry, you’ll be okay. Shninja,” she pointed towards Shninja, who was still throwing the marshmallows at the three—the last one doing it, under instruction by Thorn—frantically, though she had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn’t work at all, since anything thrown that was soft was sure to induce more lolols.

“Yeah?” she answered, turning her head while still chucking the marshmallows at the helpless victims of lololitus.

“Do you know of any cure, after effects, things like that?”

“Sunf gets lololitus sometimes, so I do know that if not treated the lololitus turns into lololcancer, and even sometimes lawlawlcancer and finally, the most deadly of the three…” she paused her voice for dramatic effect, “…lawncancer.”

“Okay, wait, lawlawlcancer? That sounds made up, and it’s hard to spell.”

“Disease names are rarely easy to spell after all.”

Starri answered with a grunt and again went to treating Hail, until she noticed that something different was coming from her mouth.

“Lolol lolol lolol, this is too epic for my eyes, muh 7.”

“…lolol lolol lolol?” the surgeon answered. “Don’t tell me…” From her place examining Sunneth, Starri heard Thorn gasp.

“Lolol-speaking is a direct sign of lololcancer!” Thorn cried. “Sunnethchu’s okay for now, by the way. She’s still breaking her sentences with lolols. Lololcancer calls for an operation, though! You’re a surgeon, you operate!”

“With WHAT!?” came the reply.

“…operating tools?”

“Look, here!” Bladeh cried, waving her arms around for attention. When both girls turned to face her, she threw a plastic box at them from the table. “The plastic operating supplies!”

“But… those induce lolols!” Thorn protested.

“Only sometimes. Depends on who you are.”

“Well… it’s the last chance we have anyway,” Shninja put in from her place at marshmallow chucking. “I think that lawlawlcancer can be fatal, and I know that lawncancer can be fatal.”

“You know,” Starri said with a slightly annoyed expression, “you can stop chucking marshmallows.”

“I was thinking that shooting might be more effective anyway.”

“Alright,” Starri began, “Bladeh, until we need you, keep treating Fallenz. I think that she’s about to enter the third stage… minor lolol-speak. I don’t know how I know that all of a sudden, but that’s important for the fic, so bare with me.”

“’Kay, if you need anything else, call me please.”

“Starri,” Thorn said, snapping Starri back to the patient, “We need to operate. Here’s the scalpel.” She handed the doctor a bright pink and plastic mock-surgical tool.

“Uh…” answered the surgeon, looking it over, “are you sure that this is okay?”

“Trust me.”

“lolol lolol lolol lolol lolol lolol lolol lolol?”

“Haileon, you’ll live!”

‘Not with us operating…’

Sunneth looked over to the operation and called, “Hayul—lolol—has lololcancer—lolol—right?”

“Sunf, be quiet or I’ll chuck another marshmallow at you. Lololitus spreads through the air, so you’re more likely to get it if you keep opening your mouth.”

“Shadow—lolol—you don’t even—lolol—have a marshmallow—lolol—in your hands—lolol!”

“Details, details,” was the reply.

Through the commotion, Bladeh kept looking over Fallenpebble and her lolols. “Pebblez,” she began, “can’t you stop lololing?”

“lolol, if it was that easy, lolol, lololcancer wouldn’t exist, would it, lolol?”

“Alright, Starri, start the operation!” Thorn looked at the aforementioned surgeon with a starry glint in her eyes.

“I WILL save this patient!” Starri screamed for a laugh and stuck her hand out, palm downwards and almost ready to grab something.

“XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD LOLOL!”

“…oh. No. I am SUCH an idiot…”

“Why, lolol?”

“Because now Thorn’s lololing, 8.”

“I never said lololing, lolol, was a bad thing, did I, lolol?”

“It’s a disease. It has to be bad.” Starri sighed and face-palmed. ‘I can’t believe I’m actually believing this… she thought with a smile through her palm. “Thorn, if you can through your lolols, we’re ready to operate. Every surgeon has to start with a stoic pose, after all…” She smiled.

“Ready—lolol—doctor.”

Starri nodded, and called over “Bladeh, I need you. I don’t think Thorn can operate.”

“Sure I—lolol—can, doctor—lolol.”

“Doesn’t sound like it,” Bladeh answered, coming over. “Pebblez, you’ll be fine with some bed rest. Get the paddle things!” she screamed suddenly, and pointed to Hail.

What the three saw was a curious sight for those not familiar with lololitus, or lololcancer. Hail had begun to apparently think in lolols, by her pattern of speech. “Lolol lolol lolol?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Haileon—lolol—we’ll fix you up quick—lolol.”

“You can—lolol—understand us?” Sunneth called from her curious position of looking at Shninja, who was now staring at her threateningly with a marshmallow in hand. “Then again—lolol—it was easier to—lolol—understand Hayul—lolol—once I got the lolols, lolol.”

“She’s been upgraded to the second stage…!” came Bladeh’s voice.

“Hail’s been infected longer,” Starri muttered. “Deal with her first.”

“Lolol.”

“…right, my 8. Whatever you said.”

“Alright, where are the paddles in this plastic set thing…” Bladeh began to poke around the plastic container where Thorn had pulled out the ‘scalpel’ a while back. They were getting nowhere fast.

A few seconds passed before Bladeh finally yelled “Yes! Here they are. Here you go, Doctor.”

It was a weird feeling, being called ‘doctor’ by your friends. Starri had no time to ponder that thought, though, because she was screaming “Clear!” and pressed the lime green plastic imitators of a defibrillator onto Hail’s throat. “Good thing these things are small… alright, up to 15! Charging, and… Clear!”

It did nothing but fuel Hail’s lolols. Apparently anything that was funny sparked them. Thorn was still sitting next to Starri and Bladeh, both who were trying to cure Hail, the original carrier. “Lolol Starri, try to, I don’t know, lolol, go higher, lolol?”

“You’re up to stage two. Don’t talk, it’s spread through air.” Starri’s voice was purely business-like now.

“doctor starree?”

“Was that Pebblez?” Bladeh inquired. “She doesn’t sound to be too bad anymore…”

“Lolol.”

“Scratch that.”

Bladeh looked toward Starri, who was still screaming out apparently random numbers and pressing the tiny paddles onto Hail’s throat. “Starri, do you want to move to Pebblez?”

Starri shook her head. “Let’s deal with 8 first, she was the one that started it. Man, this is so overwhelming…”

And that was the last thought until a very loud “LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL” rang out in the small conference room.

“Oh, dang it, everyone’ll hear, Fallenz!” Her tone was aggressive. “Lolol!”

Everyone in the room gasped.

“Starri!”

“Lolol!”

“LOLOLOL!”

“Muh lawnlawn Starri!”

“lolol, muh 7!”

“Lolol, Starri!”

Starri was silent for a moment before letting out another quiet ‘lolol’, progressively getting louder. Bladeh’s eyes were fearful; she and Shninja were the only ones not infected.

Everyone infected in the room was silent for a moment with Starri, letting out ‘lolols’ every now and then, and then a collective look passed between them. With miraculous strength, they all stood up and quietly, except for the shaking that moved through their bodies when a ‘lolol’ was induced, moved towards the large table in the middle of the room.

And without speaking an actual word, all those infected let out a unison cry of “LOLOL!” and smiled wide, before each picking up a marshmallow from the crystal glass and hurling it at Shninja and Bladeh. Both girls tried to cover themselves from the room-temperature confection, but it was too late. And the room became the loudest it had been that entire day.

“LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!”